Monday, 6 May 2013
I love rooftops. They're breezy, windy, refreshing and gives you a clearer head. I remember every time when I had problems I'd go with my friends to the rooftop and we'd sing, we'd talk, we'll look at the sky and enjoy the view from there. Somehow, it just reminds us of how small we are if compared to the universe and how small our problems are.
I love Jesus, I don't doubt that, but I'm weak too, and very vulnerable to temptations. Time and again I've done things I'm not proud of just because I was too weak to say no to temptation, and not firm enough in sticking to what I believed in.
Yes I've strayed, and I admit, it is not a good feeling when conscience starts eating at your heart. There's always this small little voice which I'd like to think is the Holy Spirit, telling me not to do this, not to do that, but somehow, the voice of temptation is too loud, and I argued and reasoned with myself that it is okay. The fact is, it is not.
I have been weak, for a long time, yes I have. But from now onwards, I will not be any longer. I love Jesus, I really do, and I'm going to prove it with my actions and words that I do.
I'm sorry about writing such a long and personal post but somehow, I feel the need to let go and yes, I need prayers. Pray for me that in times of weakness and temptation I will stay strong and stay close to God as not to stray away from Him again.